Starting a family

Money can make or break a relationship. If you and your partner have different ideas about spending and saving, then it could cause a strain on your relationship.

Here are a few considerations that you and your partner should discuss:

• Are you financially compatible? If you like to scrimp and save, but your partner likes to indulge, there could be tension. You want to wait for the bus but she wants to get a taxi. How are you going to handle day to day money decisions?
• Is there a big discrepancy in your incomes? You need to decide what you are going to do if one of you earns a lot more money than the other. Are you going to share your bank account? Will you be resentful of your partner having more money than you or of them dipping into your earnings?

The only way to reach consensus about money decisions is to talk about it. You may have to reach positive compromises. Come to a decision, for example, about how much you should save each month and how much you can spend on eating out.

Raising a child will drastically change your life. It’s no longer all about you, there’s someone else to take care of. Here are the things to think about:

• Work - you need to take into account lost income. Are you going to give up work or put your child into daycare? Either way will be expensive.
• Your home - will you need a bigger home for the extra feet? Is your house and local area suited to growing children?
• Transport - how are you going to transport your kids? Do you need a bigger car?

If you’re considering becoming a parent, or already are, then our advice to families is a must read.

Unfortunately, not all relationships end up ‘happily ever after’. With a third of marriages in the UK ending in divorce, it’s worth considering a pre-nuptial agreement, so you can avoid the messy disagreements that come with separation. It also sets out both of your expectations and may help you understand each other’s thinking.

If you’re not getting married but are moving in with your partner, you still need to think about your joint possessions. It’s easy to end up with a house full of goods that you bought together. Discuss in advance what’s going to happen if you move out. Or pay fully for items separately. For example, you buy the bed and he buys the TV. Then there should be no argument about who gets what.