Alcatel is commemorating the impending Royal nuptials with a themed handset, featuring union jack livery and a wedding march ringtone.
The Special Edition Royal Wedding phone, which looks like it belongs in Churchill Gifts or one of those other temples of tourist tack that you find in Leicester Square, will set you back the princely sum of £14.95.
As well as Mendelssohn’s wedding march ringtone which sounds every time you receive a call or text, buyers of what is essentially a resprayed Alacatel One Touch phone also get a wallpaper of Wills and Kate mugging for the camera and the happy couple’s initials and the date of the BIG DAY engraved on the rear casing.
Otherwise, its feature set is exactly what you’d expect from an Alcatel pocket money handset, with a pokey 1.5-inch colour screen and FM radio among the dubious highlights.
Monarchists, people who still believe in the Divine Right of Kings and anyone with an overactive appreciation of kitsch can pick up the handset now from Carphone Warehouse. Don’t all rush at once.
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